The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999/2015). Harmony Books. Source link | Amazon
Foundation for evidence-based conflict management; introduces the Four Horsemen and the 5:1 ratio for healthy interactions.
These are the books behind the frameworks used across Two-Way Intimacy. Looking for the academic studies and clinical sources instead? Visit the References page.
Books
The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy
Gottman, J. M. (1999). W. W. Norton & Company. Source link | Amazon
Identifies the predictable cascade of relationship decay and the physiological flooding research behind the 100 BPM Rule.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Johnson, S. (2008). Little, Brown Spark. Source link | Amazon
Explains relationship distress through attachment theory and names the pursue-withdraw "Protest Polka."
Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Guilford Press. Source link
The definitive research guide on how avoidant and anxious attachment styles function in romantic relationships.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). TarcherPerigee. Source link | Amazon
Categorizes attachment styles and explains why Avoidants withdraw while Anxious partners pursue.
Attachment and Loss: Vol. 2. Separation: Anxiety and Anger
Bowlby, J. (1973). Amazon
Foundational work proving humans are biologically hardwired to view emotional disconnection as a physical threat.
Changing for Good
Prochaska, J. O., Norcross, J. C., & DiClemente, C. C. (1994). William Morrow. Amazon
Primary text explaining the six stages of change; provides the roadmap for moving a partner from Precontemplation to Action.
A New Psychology of Men
Levant, R. F., & Pollack, W. S. (Eds.). (1995). Basic Books. Amazon
Details how traditional masculine roles like stoicism and emotional restriction prevent men from feeling present and connected.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (3rd ed.)
Rosenberg, M. B. (2003/2015). Puddledancer Press. Source link | Amazon
Provides the OFNR model (Observation, Feeling, Need, Request) for expressing frustration without attacking.
Feeling Good Together
Burns, D. D. (2008). Broadway Books. Source link | Amazon
Uses CBT to identify the cognitive distortions, like mind-reading, that fuel defensiveness during conflict.
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
Schnarch, D. (1997). W. W. Norton & Company. Amazon
Introduces differentiation: the ability to stay calm and hold your sense of self when your partner is upset.
The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
Lerner, H. (1985/2014). William Morrow Paperbacks. Source link | Amazon
Teaches that changing your own reactions in conflict automatically transforms the relationship dynamic.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Brown, B. (2012). Avery. Source link | Amazon
Argues men must face their own shame and vulnerability before achieving relationship success.